How much more comfortable it would all be if the knowledge that something is right for me were directly related to how “easy” it is to do. There is nothing easy about this. I have so many questions to which I will probably never have answers. Would it help if I could go back in time? Was there one moment, one night, one week that changed everything? The silence is shattering. Time will heal, it always does, but at present my recourse is to sit with discomfort, something I’ve not had much luck with in the past. But I shall try. I love you. I miss you. Don’t know what else I can do but breathe and hope for the best. I wish I knew you were safe. I think you are, but the silence that shatters leaves fear in its wake. Thank God for time. And gentle sleep aids. And my Louie.