I’m sorry, dear, if you should stumble on these words; you asked me in what seemed a w/e/ary tone for this address, so you could find this thing that made you roll your eyes when you first heard of it. Everything seems to make you roll your gorgeous eyes, my dear – it feels like part of you that loves me is at war with something that’s decided you should trust me at zero cost. And sweet, sweet love, there’s little I can do to fight against that which does not exist. Like my disingenuousness, this beast that rears its head whenever we’re apart. I’m out of bed at 4AM I must! be writing other men and plotting my escape from what I’d never thought had been a trap. Bottom line, beautiful dear, is that I love you and I care for you and I seem to have to beg to say these words. Yes I’ve made mistakes before, I’ve cheated and I’ve lied, but not with you, and the way I deal with the guilt I feel is to know I learned what not to do.
Dear, sweet man. I do love you. And with that said, onward I go.